i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
