with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
