The best revenge is premature balding
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
