Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
