I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
