He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
