i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
