Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
