Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
