omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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