kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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