there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
