So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
