Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
