i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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