No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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