Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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