How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
