Porn is love you can see.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
