I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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