do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
