a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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