Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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