I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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