All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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