This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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