Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
