i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
