So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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