I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
