Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
