he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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