Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
