thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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