how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Shitshow foam night was such a success
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
