My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
