so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
