He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm passing your future prison.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
