well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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