was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
