i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Panties = found
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
