Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
