Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
