It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm bleeding and have questions
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
