"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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