she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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