this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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