if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
