The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
