Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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